DS9 Season 1 Ep4: “A Man Alone”

Meredith’s Synopsis: We open on Jadzia like, I don’t know, meditating? With a fancy floating transparent beach ball in a holosuite. Bashir comes in, and she says “Hello, Julian,” without opening her eyes or turning around. He’s surprised she knew it was him, and she says, “there are lots of ways to recognize people,” which I take to mean that she detected the odor of arrogance and romantic frustration that hangs around his person.

He’s all, “you are remarkable, sexy lady,” and she’s all like, “uh huh, we need to talk about this you being so into me business,” and he misses the point and invites her out to a champagne dinner. You know, for a liberal-progressive military organization in space, Starfleet sure seems to have a lax workplace sexual harassment policy. Sometimes I wonder if they even have a training video.

Jadzia explains that she’s trying to solve this puzzle with the beach ball, which, now that I see it up close, looks a lot more like a very large soap bubble. Bashir, eager to prove his Boy Genius status and impress her, is all, “I LOVE PUZZLES, I CAN HAZ PUZZLE HOT STUFF?”

Jadzia sighs and lets him take over, telling him it responds to brain waves. She tosses out that she’s been trying to figure the damn thing out for about 140 years – so Bashir should have it down in like, twenty minutes, right guys? Oh, it would be humorous if this scene ended in literally any other way!

Jadzia puts her hands on Bashir’s head to release the puzzle to him, and Bashir is all, “your hands are so cold, cold hands, warm heart, amirite?” (for the record, that was not a paraphrase. The only thing I added to his line was the “amirite.” He is that bad at macking on chicks)

Young men of the internet take note: if you are making this face, you're doing something wrong

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