Season 2, Ep12: “The Alternate”

Synopsis: We begin in Quark’s, where he is trying to sell the remains of a Ferengi who revolutionized the holodeck industry (take-away line: “I am merely a businessman. It would take an orator with the skills of the late, great Plegg himself to sing the praises of the late, great Plegg.”)

The guy he’s pitching to seems reluctant, though, and when Odo spies what’s going on with his eagle eyes from across the promenade (seriously), he comes in to break it up. When the customer is effectively scared off – by both Odo’s presence and Quark’s price – Odo confides that he’s fascinated by “humanoid death rituals,” deadpanning that “everyone needs a hobby.” He seems really into the Ferengi practice of selling freeze-dried ashes, but it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.

Unexpectedly (at least for Quark), Odo produces some strips of gold-pressed latinum, wanting to buy the container of Plegg. When Quark hands it over, Odo wonders how to tell if it’s authentic (that is, really Plegg). Quark points out that the label says “Plegg” right on it, and that really should be enough for anyone, and then Odo reveals that this was all an elaborate cat-and-mouse by casually saying, “not if he’s still alive.”

Yes, it turns out that Quark has mistakenly bought a bunch of containers of ashes of some non-famous person – oh, the horror. Just as Odo is savoring his triumph, a gentleman in what I would describe as a torso kilt calls out Odo’s name like they’re old buddies. Actually, they have the same hair, so maybe they are old buddies.

Odo looks gobsmacked, and identifies the man as Dr. Mora. Dr. Mora, instead of saying hi, tells Odo it’s been too long since they’ve seen each other and says he’s “coming along nicely,” which, come to think of it, is pretty much the way my mom always greets me.

Odo wonders why Dr. Mora didn’t call first, and Dr. Mora claims it was a spur-of-the-moment roadtrip thing, and Odo seems to think Dr. Mora could have found a minute or two to text him on the five-hour trip from Bajor. Wow, I didn’t know Bajor was that far away. That’s about as far away as we live from Disney, and getting there requires us to exercise almost military travel precision, how are people going back and forth to Bajor multiple times a day? Do they at least have in-flight movies?

Quark offers Dr. Mora a drink, and as he scurries away, Dr. Mora begins to criticize Odo’s ear facsimiles, all like, “oh, you haven’t quite gotten them right yet, have you?” Quark comes back to breathlessly pry into who Dr. Mora is, and Dr. Mora says that he was the lead Bajoran scientist on Project Odo, and taught him everything he knows. Literally. Quark says Odo’s dad is always welcome in his bar, and Odo is all, “HE’S NOT MY DAD” and then Quark compounds the embarrassment by telling Odo’s Not-Dad how awesome Odo is doing on the station. Continue reading