DS9 Season 1 Ep13: “Battle Lines”

Synopsis: We open in Sisko’s office, where Irishy and Jadzia are showing Sisko some old files they found lurking in the computer. They appear to be of a Cardassian Intelligence nature, dossiers on Bajoran terrorists and the like. Jadzia notes that the encryption on the files was almost comically easy to crack, almost like the Cardassians wanted them found. I agree that it’s pretty suspicious – when I think “Cardassian” pretty much the last thing that comes to mind is “shoddy information security.”

The main concern at the moment is that there’s a whole file on Kira in there, and nobody wants to be the one to tell her about it. “You might want to warn Kira before she sees her file…” Irishy is saying, and right at that moment Kira walks in and says “warn me about what?”

Jadzia, Irishy, and Sisko all get these priceless “oh, shit,” looks on their faces, but Sisko knows his duty, and he’s the Commander of this station, so he tries to tell Kira all casually that there’s a Cardassian intelligence folder about her that she can just read any time she wants. I’m not actually sure what he’s afraid of: if she’ll trample him in excitement or anger.

She manages to avoid either, in part because everybody beats a hasty retreat to let her look at the files in private  (that’s right, Sisko flees his own office rather than hang out with Kira while she’s working through Cardassian feelings).

Bashir comm badges into Ops to request Sisko’s assistance in one of the airlocks, where Kai Opaka, whom we have not seen since the first episode, has arrived unexpectedly, hopefully with cake. We think one of the great faults of this episode is that it does not show us the scene that must have occurred between Kai Opaka and Bashir in which she showed him pictures of all her cats and gave him some of her cake, and he told her all about medical school and how he was the best one in the class, and she squeezed his ear like she does and was super proud of him and told him to write her once a week. Even not having seen this, we think it’s safe to assume that she and Bashir were chatting and having tea for a good hour and a half before Bashir bothered to call Sisko.

Sisko seems really excited (he must think she has cake too), because he frigging loves Kai Opaka, and he’s rarin’ to give her a tour of the station. Kira comes out of his office trembling with indignation because the Cardassians refused to recognize her brilliance as a terrorist and labeled her a “minor operative.” Poor Kira. Now I’m imagining her terrorist days as some sort of farcical delusion of grandeur, in which she believed herself to be one of the Boondock Saints and everybody else knew that one of the protagonists in Big Trouble. Also, the Cardassian file specifically says that she was limited to “running errands” for terrorist leaders, so now I’m picturing her picking up dry cleaning and making runs to Bajoran Starbucks.

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DS9 Season 1 Ep1: “Emissary”

Meredith’s Synopsis:

We open with some NexGen backstory, giving us a brief rundown on the Battle of Wolf 359 (the Pearl Harbor of the Star Trek universe) from the Best of Both Worlds two-parter. In case you didn’t know, this was an unprovoked attack by evil bio/robot hybrids the Borg, in a star system that was basically on Earth’s doorstep (Wolf 359 is a real-life star you can actually see, FYI, it’s about 7.8 lightyears away from us). Dapper Captain Jean-Luc Picard was assimilated by the Borg and mind controlled to lead the attack, and the Federation lost the shit out of the battle – the Borg eventually made it into Earth’s orbit, only one ship survived. Ultimately, even though it was forty Federation ships versus one Borg Cube, eleven thousand people were killed or assimilated by the Borg. Seriously, it was effing heavy shit.

This feels like a lot of background, I know, but you have to understand that the target audience had a PTSD seizure when they heard the name “Wolf 359.”

Now that we’ve established our setting, we find ourselves on board a ship where the orders are being given by an African-American First Officer so poised and well-spoken that he makes Morgan Freeman look like Marlon Wayans. The Commander does his best, but the whole audience knows he’s screwed, and as his ship starts to blow up, he makes sure his crew is getting to the escape pods, and then runs through the wreckage in search of his wife. He finds his motionless wife and son pinned under some beams, and while the boy is OK, his wife is dead. A crewman gets the Commander’s son, Jake, to safety, and then literally has to drag the Commander away from his wife’s body as he screams, “we can’t just leave her here!”

But they do, and, on the escape pod, the Commander holds his son’s hand and looks out the window at the exploding ship with the look of a man who is about to become a Batman.

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become an Admiral

We are going to have some allegiance to justice and righting of wrongs up in this bitch for sure.

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