Synopsis: We open on Sisko voicing-over that Irishy O’Brien had to take his shrewish wife back to earth to celebrate her mom’s 100th birthday, which I’m sure is going to be all kinds of wacky, but we’ll never know, because we’re staying on the station. We cut then to the station’s Holiday Inn Express Buffet, where Bashir stares at Jadzia longingly as she reviews The Federation Gal’s Guide to Antique Space Station Restoration: Cardassian Imperialist Edition over a raktajino.
Everything is breaking now that Irishy is gone (typical), and, because she’s apparently the only science officer on the station, it’s Jadzia’s job to get everything spiffy again. She is more interested in her tech specs than in Bashir’s clumsy pickup attempts, and seems a million miles away, even when he says “I can think of better ways of keeping you up [at night], and they’d be more fun than Klingon coffee.” That is an actual thing that he actually said.
Meanwhile, a group of super-creepy-looking dudes are hanging out inside the walls, peeping at Jadzia through the grating. This is what long-time Trekkers like to call “a bad sign.” They look at each other all meaningfully, and confirm with one another that she’s Dax – they seem reeeeeeaaaally intent on making sure.
We guess it’s nighttime (?) because Bashir offers to escort Jadzia back to her quarters, presumably after running back to his place to get his walking stick and old-timey stick-on mustache. Actually, since it’s Bashir, he’d probably just figure out a way to stimulate the hair follicles on his upper lip, and while they grew super-fast he’d shape his mustache like a bonzai tree. He could package the method and market it as Dr. Julian’s Miraculous Ten-Minute Mustache: Being a Potent Unguent for the Smooth-Faced Gentleman Who Seeks Lavish Whiskers Without Stain or Injury to Skin In Order That He Might Favoraby Impress Members of the Fairer Sex, Be They Born of God’s Earth or of a Distant Star: Be The Envy of Every Rapscallion Upon Your New Worlde or Star Shippe! (Patent Pending)
But I digress. Continue reading