DS9 Season 1 Ep7: “Q-Less”

"You never hear me brag about how I wasn't valedictorian."

Synopsis: The episode begins with Bashir animatedly telling one of his Ripping Yarns to a pretty lady over what appears to be breakfast at the station’s Holiday Inn Express, as Irishy eavesdrops in a corner, rolling his eyes so much that he can barely finish his bowl of gruel. The story is about Bashir’s final exam in medical school, and how he missed being valedictorian by thaaaaaaat much. Just as he’s about to seal the deal, he and Irishy get called to Ops on their comm badges, and Bashir swaggers off all like, “medical school exam stories work fifty percent of the time, every time.”

Crisis! The Ganges, one of the station’s runabouts (one of the small shuttles that they use to travel on official business) has docked at the station to disembark, but a sudden power drain has caused the hatch to become stuck, and the passengers are trapped.

Sisko, Irishy, and Bashir finally get the hatch pried open and rush into the people, of whom there are either two or three (there were only supposed to be two, but Bashir said his tricorder read three life signs). The people are all woozy and messed up, and one of them is Jadzia, who insists that she’s OK and Bashir should tend to the other passenger, Lady-Anthropologist Vash, who was a recurring character on NexGen. If Vash wrote a personals ad, it would read “SWF seeks powerful man with classical acting training for swashbuckling, adventure, and larceny. No fatties.” After toying with John-Luc Picard’s affections on and off, she eventually ran off with Q, the playfully douchey omnipotent being who plagued JLP’s existence.

Irishy (who, if you remember, originated on NexGen) is all, “what are you doing here?” and Jadzia explains that they found Vash in the Gamma Quadrant, where she’d been for about two years. Irishy wants to know how she got there, and she obliquely says that a “friend dropped her off.” We know it was Q, though, because we are a well-informed audience and also this episode title has a Q in it. Continue reading